Fact : Indian cobra can kill 90% human in one day. Indian cobra’s dad : Beta, why can’t you kill 100%.
Well, not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Would you like to dance? Thanks! For the chair.
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?
I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.”
The boss is always right !!
What a total waste of makeup was today.
There’s no doubt, I married someone else’s soulmate. Waiting for them to come around and take him off my hands
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face— only once you shove them down the stairs.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Today I saw two blind people fighting,
then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”,
they both ran away..
A guy in a plane stood up & shouted: “HIJACK!”
All passengers got scared
From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back “HI JOHN”.
My Girlfriend broke up with me.
She thinks that I am childish.